God's Gift

When I was young I dreamed of becoming a nun because I want to be celibate. I didn't like the idea of getting married because of my big fear in giving birth to a child. I've heard a lot about the pain and complications of pregnancy and giving birth. Especially that my mama went from a high-risk pregnancy with me and my sister. She was on and off the hospital the whole time of her pregnancy, and the longest she stayed was for 3 months until she finally gave birth to my sister who happened to be premature. I saw everything that she went through because I was 13 years old that time and was tasked to stay with her in the hospital after school and throughout the night to relieve my cousin who watches over her during daytime when I'm at school since my papa is working abroad. During the time she gave birth to me she had Eclampsia due to hypertension. She had seizures while she was having her labor. Thank God everything went well after all the turmoil.

But as I grow I realized how beautiful it is to be loved and to love. Well of course aside from the love that I have and I get from my family and relatives. I learned that life is more meaningful when you have that special someone to share it with. I have had few relationships which taught me a lot about commitment and friendship until I finally end up with the man of my dreams, my very loving husband. We were together for 2 years before we tied the knot in January of 2009. We weren't planning of having a baby yet but 6 months after we got married the good news came.

My monthly period was delayed for 5 days, and that was really strange coz I used to have a normal  menstrual cycle since day one. So when I got home from work on the night of the 5th day of the delay, I took a pregnancy test. I was nervous for whatever reason, it was also brownout that night but I couldn't wait for the next day to do the test. So I did the test and there appeared two lines in the PT Kit, it's positive! Hubby and I were really happy and excited and speechless for quite a moment, but the smile on our faces are endless. We didn't know how and what to react. We were controlling ourselves from making noise because it was so quiet in our compound and we didn't want to spoil the good news. Though we were really happy that time, there is still a part of me that questions the accuracy of the PT result. Shouldn't I have done the test in the morning upon waking up? Was I able to follow the instructions right? Had I not skip any of the procedure since it was dark and I might have misread/unread one step in the procedure? I know I wasn't in denial but I was just not confident that it was only me who did the test. So the next morning before I went to the office I bought 2 Pregnancy Test of different brands. I bought 2 of the most expensive, just to assert myself that it is a good quality PT. Upon arriving in the office I rushed to the rest room and took the second test. After a minute there appeared two lines again and that time I was a bit convinced that I am really pregnant. But I still took the 3rd test when I got home from work that day and it was still positive. The following day I felt the need to see my OB, so I ask my mama to accompany me. Only after the ultrasound that I became really sure and confident to announce to hubby and to our friends about God's gift to us.

I was lucky not to experience morning sickness and being sensitive to scents and foods. But during my last trimester I suffered a lot from Edema, my legs are swollen and my hands are so numb. I was really  exerting so much effort in going to the office during that time. My blood pressure was also rising at 120/90 which is considered high-normal. My estimated due date was April 16 but on April 2 to 4 I was having severe headache and could not see my OB because it was Holy week. Morning of April 5 I texted my OB and told her about the bad headache that kept me awake for the past 3 nights. I also told her that my blood pressure won't go down even if I was taking my anti-hypertensive medicines it even reached 130/100. She then advised me to already go to the hospital for admission. I was already diagnosed with Pre-eclampsia. Upon admission, the doctor in the ER checked the severity of my Edema and injected Magnesium Sulfate on both my upper butt cheek to stabilize pre-eclampsia and forestall possible seizure, that MagSulfate I will never forget coz of the burning sensation it made me feel, I was like literally burning. Funny though that while it was being injected to me I was laughing coz it tickles me, it was only after the delivery that my husband told me and described to me how horribly big was the needle in the syringe. When my OB arrived in the hospital she said that my condition is very crucial for me and my baby and that I have to undergo Cesarean section as soon as possible to deliver the baby safely. So without thinking much hubby and I agreed as we have prepared ourselves for a normal and cesarean delivery.

At exactly 1:53pm Brendan Roy was born. Although I was feeling dizzy and weak I was so happy to see my baby boy, that moment when I first saw him was priceless and was like the best time in my life so far. I kissed him in the right cheek, too bad I can't touch him yet because of the IV in both my left and right arms.

Here is Brendan Roy's first picture that hubby took using his cellphone camera. This was when Bren was being transferred from the OR to the NICU. The name Brendan Roy was a combination of mine and hubby's name. Brendan also means "Prince" in Irish. 

I couldn't thank God enough for giving us this angel. This is the best blessing that He has ever given us. All the pain and hardships during my pregnancy was worth it. Hubby and I were very proud parents. We were so excited to go home and take care of our baby. But I stayed for 3 days in the hospital because I underwent some series of test as my blood pressure was still high, it reached 150/100 despite having rested for long hours and taken all the prescribed medicines. The hospital policy is you can only visit the baby in the NICU, they don't bring the baby to the mother's room, so we had very limited time with Bren which made us became more eager to go home to finally be with him 24/7.

After 2 months of maternity leave I had to go back to work. Being away from my angel was not easy, he's always on my mind, I was worrying if the yaya is taking good care of him. Until one day, he had diaper rash and it doesn't get healed by the diaper rash cream that I was using. Until I noticed that it's not just an ordinary diaper rash coz it's starting to spread all over his body. When I brought him to the pedia, the rashes was diagnosed as Atopic Dermatitis or Skin Asthma. His pedia advised that I should be more cautious in the products that I use and in the kind of food that I feed Bren. Our family have a history of asthma, I was afraid that things might get worst for Bren. Since then I was no longer comfortable of leaving him to the yaya. That's when I entertained the thought of resigning from my corporate job and become a full-time mother. I realized that my son needs me more and it would be better if I was the one taking care of him. At least I don't have to blame anybody if he gets sick and I won't be going to work but think of him all day. Thank you to my husband for giving me his full support in that decision. 

Now, Bren is 2 years and 5 months old. Hopefully next year he will be ready to go to school and I am more excited to be by his side. My son is an active, smart, playful and super sweet kid. He brings so much joy in our family.

Hubby and I always say that Bren is more than what we could asked for, he is more than enough. And we are already contented for having him even if we don't get to have another child in the future. Spending each day taking care of my son is such a joy. And if there is more that I could ask from God, that is just for me and my hubby to be good parents to Bren.

All of us are children but not all of us can be parents. It may not be an easy responsibility but I realized that there is nothing to fear, for it is God's gift. And I will forever be thankful for this gift.